Megan Espinosa. 0316, XIV. Pisces. <310 
Being led on is the fucking worst.
Feeling like you actually had a chance. Like everything was real. The cute text messages, the holding hands, webcamming, everything. He made you feel special. You felt complete. You were happy knowing that someone you like just might like you back. It sucks realizing that you were the only one that was getting butterflies. It sucks knowing that despite everything he did, he wants nothing to do with you. It sucks thinking that you guys were actually going to be in a relationship.
Feeling like you were so close. So close. You felt like you were both happy. You were certain about your feelings and was almost certain about his. Right when everything is going great, he stops texting you first. He starts replying later. He stops replying after awhile. He doesn’t send you anymore cute shit. You want to keep trying and fix things hoping that everything is okay and that you’re just overthinking things. But deep down, you know that he’s done with you but you keep denying it. You still have hope that he still might be interested. You start to feel like you’re annoying him. Now, he doesn’t reply to any of your texts. You’ve just been led on.
Honestly, life fucking sucks right now.
There’s no one that truly understands you. I hate getting into fights with my mom constantly, I hate having a brother who has no patience with me, my dad hasn’t spoken to me in 3 weeks when we’re living in the same house, I hate being fat, I hate being not good enough, I hate myself. I fucking hate myself. I hate how I’m never good enough. My grades aren’t high enough, I’m not pretty enough, I’m not skinny enough, I’m not nice enough, I’m not outgoing enough. I’m a fucking bitch. I talk shit about myself and everyone. I lowkey lose my temper all the time. Nobody knows because I have self control. But I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of crying myself to sleep. I’m fucking tired, period. I don’t like myself. I honestly don’t know how I have friends. I’m so annoying and I always yell. I’m selfish and don’t want to share anything. I fucking hide things from people. I’m a fucking liar. I don’t know who I am anymore and I have no idea what I’ve become. I miss being happy. I miss genuinely not giving a fuck. I always put up some fake ass front. I always act happy, but I’m never truly happy. I hate how fucking fake I act at school. I wish I didn’t have to go to school. There’s nothing to look forward to, so what’s the use in trying? You’re not there. Everybody is a fucking cunt. All the guys are assholes. I fucking hate everyone. I hate life. I want to give up but you’re the only one who keeps me going
It’s nice having someone who understands you.
But people only understand to a certain extent.
How is it possible,
That I’m surrounded by so many people, yet somehow, I feel so lonely?
god, self-absorbed ignorant annoying lazy conceited selfish ungrateful inconsiderate overly sarcastic disrespectful fake bitches are so annoying
It’s funny.
A person can be upset for SO long, but if they do it right, no one would ever notice.
My dad hasn’t spoken to me in 3 weeks.
I think he’s mad at me but I don’t know why. He didn’t talk to me today, but he mentioned my name to my brother, complimenting one of my projects. Right after that, I rushed to my room & started to tear up. I missed his voice so much.
